Meeting God for the First Time After a Lifetime in Church
Written by Emma McCoy
5 minute read
Hi everyone! After a brief hiatus, the Spring Church blog is back!
For this upcoming series, I’m going to be revisiting some fictional characters from past seasons in order to illustrate one of the miracles of Pentecost: knowing the Gospel in our own heart-languages. What does this mean? Well, it means that thanks to the Holy Spirit, each and every one of us has the capacity to realize, in a way deeply personal to us, that we have a place in the story of Jesus. The Gospel has something to offer us. We can find hope in Jesus, who wants us.
Revisiting my fictional characters from pervious series, such as Advent and Easter, I hope to illustrate how moments of heart-language can happen in everyday life. For some, realizing they have a place in the Gospel story happens the first time someone shares the love of Jesus with them. For others, it happens after years of coming to church, talking to believers, and reading the Bible. Read these short stories to discover, along with my characters, how the Holy Spirit can move in everyday life!
“Previously on” Oliver:
A recent college grad, Oliver isn’t sure what direction his life is taking. After moving back to his grandparent’s house, he watches enviously as his friends seem to navigate jobs, relationships, money, and independence in a way he can’t. After befriending an elderly woman at his church, Oliver gains a new perspective on life, success, and identity—hanging out with Agatha makes him feel the most “him” since graduating. At Agatha’s funeral, he leans on his grandparents and struggles with grief and how to lament well. Now, six months later, he’s found a full-time job and continues to live with his grandparents while he saves money, and several of his high school and college friends have moved to his hometown as well.
Oliver and Trevor sat on the front porch and watched the street, which was empty except for the occasional passing car or child on a bike. The day was warm, quickly approaching hot, and the shaded porch provided the perfect place to lean back, cross your legs, and watch the day go by.
“I still can’t believe you’re married, dude,” Oliver said. He pushed his hair off his forehead and glanced over at his friend.
“Me neither,” Trevor replied. “It still feels kind of unreal. Like, Emily lives here and she wants to be with me? Forever?”
“She is cooler than you, for sure,” Oliver nodded sagely.
“Oh, come on.”
“I’m sort of not kidding.” Oliver took a sip of his lemonade. “We’ve known each other, what, since freshman year? You guys met not that long after. And how did that happen again?”
Trevor grinned. “She helped jump my car.”
“Right. And you wiped out when she took you surfing for the first time, and she figured out how to fix the washing machine, and it was thanks to her sister that we got those Kendrick tickets. I rest my case.”
“You’ve got me there. I do think she’s the coolest.”
Oliver sighed. “And I have her to thank for getting you back here. May God forever bless attractive job offers.”
“I wanted to come back, too,” Trevor added. “My sister’s around, and she and her husband want to have another kid. Plus, there’s something to being familiar with a place.”
The two friends lapsed into silence for a while. Their friendship was the sort that didn’t need to be filled with words or noise at all times to be interesting. It was one of the things that Oliver appreciated about Trevor—though they had become friends through the same social circle, it wasn’t until they were close to graduating that they found they had more in common than they’d thought. They both liked good books, good food, and comfortable silence, when most of their friends had more energy than they knew what to do with.
“Hey man, there’s something I’ve been kind of thinking about recently,” Trevor said.
“Shoot,” Oliver replied. It wasn’t unlike Trevor to be thinking about something, but there was a certain furrow to his brow that made Oliver pay particular attention, the sleepiness of the hot day gone.
“This was a while ago, but we were at Emily’s friend’s baby shower—you know, that super big party that ended up being really fun?”
Oliver flashed back to a four-tiered cake, blasting music, several games involving (non-alcoholic) beer, and at least one broken chair. “Yes.”
“Well, we were outside in the yard at some point, and your friend from church, the old one, had passed away pretty recently.”
“Agatha.”
“Yes, that’s right. It’s just, I remember talking to you about it some because it seemed to hit you pretty hard and I wanted to know how you were doing about it all. It’s not often someone loses a friend at our age. And I…I don’t know. There was something you said that really stuck with me. You said that you were sad and angry, and that was okay, because God could handle sad and angry. In fact, God knows what it is to feel sad and angry, and it’s okay to be angry with Him.”
Trevor paused. “It’s just…I don’t know man, I think I’d never heard something like that before.”
“Yeah?” Oliver prompted.
“Yeah. Just the idea that I could be mad at God, you know? Like, I grew up in the church and everything, and believe in everything, but my church was different than yours. I always thought that I had to be happy, and pretend that things were fine when they weren’t so that they’d become fine. And if I just prayed enough, then bad things wouldn’t happen. And if bad things did happen…well, I’d just keep that to myself, because it was my fault. So when you said that it was okay to be angry at God, it really stuck with me.”
A car drove by. Oliver tried to channel the spirit of his grandmother, who always seemed to know what to say. “How so?” he asked.
“It really clicked. It made me think that God might want all of me. So here I am, life-long churchgoer, and I feel like I’m meeting God for the first time.”
Oliver smiled. “It’s a good thing God’s known you this whole time, huh?”
“I guess so. So anyway, I suppose I’m saying thank you, or something, for using words that really clicked.”
“I’m glad you’re my friend too,” Oliver replied. They sat on the porch a while longer until their drinks were mostly water. Emily came out at one point and joined them, and they talked about college, and their friends, and family, and God until the hot day became warm again and it was time to go inside.
Who in your life would you like to share this with?
About the author
Spring Church member, Emma McCoy (M.A.), has two poetry books: This Voice Has an Echo (2024) and In Case I Live Forever (2022). She’s been published in places like Across the Margin, Stirring Literary, and Thimble Mag. She reads for Chestnut Review and Whale Road Review. She’s probably working on her novel right now. Catch her on Substack: https://poetrybyemma.substack.com/